ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN!
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I’m no fiend. I agree with him. To “reflect light into the dark places of the world” is a great and worthy mission. But while watching All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten!, Ernest Zulia’s adaptation of Fulghum’s books at the Apple Tree Theatre, I began to wonder whether those dark places were ever going to be acknowledged. In fact, I began to long for some of those dark places. At the risk of sounding like a curmudgeon, this is one of the sweetest, most precious, innocuous bits of fluff I’ve seen on a stage.
The world described here (through a series of skits, monologues, and two pleasant songs by David Caldwell, performed by the ensemble of five) seems to be an exclusively white, middle-class enclave where families stick together (even though a young father might occasionally wish to bolt), old couples melt youthfully into each other’s arms on the dance floor, and everyone is amused by observations about that stuff that remains in the sink drain after the dishes are done. Sweetly solemn deaf children and wise old Auschwitz survivors appear from time to time to remind us to count our blessings. The darkest place explored is the one where cancer dwells. We are instructed to appreciate the difference between “a lump in your oatmeal, a lump in your throat, and a lump in your breast.”
