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The trouble with arguing with religious wackos is that the minute you start, you’re on their turf–they win even if they lose, if you see what I mean. Case in point: a free lecture today by the Reverend Ralph B. Conrad, who’ll debunk the biblical passages that antigay fundamentalists use to condemn homosexuality. He assures you that God Says It’s OK, if that’s what you need to hear, at the Metropolitan Community Church, 615 W. Wellington, at 3 PM. It’s free. Call 472-8708.

“You can’t read / You can’t write / So what you gonna do with your life? / Got no job / Got no money / Got three kids and a wife.” That’s a line from a more than a passable blues written and sung by a group of Uptown street kids. They were hired for the summer by the Uptown People’s Learning Center to write and produce a musical; Uptown Sounds, an hourlong documentary by the husband and wife team of Denise DeClue and Robert Schneiger, follows the kids and the center’s staff through bleak beginnings and nonstop turbulence to an unlikely success. Uptown Sounds will be broadcast today on Channel 11 at 4 PM. More at 583-5000.

Isn’t having a free public meeting about agoraphobia sort of a contradiction in terms? Former victims of agoraphobia and a related problem called panic disorder will talk about their symptoms and their recovery tonight at a presentation of the Panic/Anxiety/Phobia Clinic of Chicago. A couple of experienced psychologists from the clinic will be on hand to answer questions. It’s in the Walton Room of the Drake Hotel, 140 E. Walton, at 7:30. Call 642-7952.

Visitors to the Art Institute of late have missed much of the museum’s 20th-century collection–La Grande Jatte, the Picassos, the Albrights. The entire modern-art wing was behind construction barriers for two years as the museum attempted a massive reorganization of its 20th-century holdings. Modern Art 1900-1950: The Collection Reinstalled is the result–what the museum calls “an installation worthy of a first-rate museum of modern art.” About 400 works, new and old, are on display in 16 rooms, and this is just the first phase; part two, covering 1950 to the present, opens in 1993. Both will remain on display indefinitely. The Art Institute is at Michigan and Adams; it’s open 10:30 to 4 daily, 10:30 to 8 Tuesdays, 10 to 5 Saturdays, and noon to 5 Sundays. Admission is $6, $3 for students, seniors, and children, and free on Tuesdays. Call 443-3515 for details.