CASTRATING EUGENE

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Man–that’s a character’s name in Castrating Eugene is such a person. He caroms noisily off the furniture while watching football games on television, plays catch with raw steak, and has the disturbing habit of donning his camo fatigues late at night and restaging what may or may not be his own Vietnam war experiences. Woman, his mate, is all kind and gentle nurturance. She enjoys playing Jane to his Tarzan but is uneasy about being cast as the VC whore in the war games–of course Man insists that they are only games.

The buffer between these two individuals polarized by gender is their dog, Eugene. Eugene shares in Man’s edge-of-violence roughhousing, but both owners begin to notice that their pet becomes extremely aggressive after such bouts, at one point actually mounting Woman and frightening her so much that even Man must seriously consider checking these tendencies. Commentary is provided on the viability of castration–no euphemisms like “fixed” or “altered” in this play–by the prudish Miss Havisham, who sings the praises of her five effeminate pooches and kicks Eugene in the crotch when he responds too enthusiastically to her teasing, by the leather-clad Dr. Geldman, who advocates castration as the final and only solution, and by the pope, who declares that being fruitful and multiplying is God’s way. But it is only when Eugene rebels against Man’s brutality and becomes Woman’s protector that his fate is assured.

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): photo/Drew Camens.