Maybe you remember the type from your high school days: a raunchy guy who talked about sex in the most casual and clinical ways, putting you at such ease that there was nothing you were reluctant to ask him. Dr. Ruth, but with a leer. Donahue, but in graphic detail.
“I’m Mr. Condom, the rubber man,” he says, puffing out his stomach.
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
Trip into Panisiak’s stock of vintage condoms, and you can choose from old tins of Sheiks and Ramses (priced up to $75), and Black Cats, dark rubbers that authorities long ago pulled from circulation because the carbon that made them black leaked onto customers’ privates. A woman’s plastic condom carrier from the 50s that resembles a lipstick tube runs $10.
Panisiak sells his machines from his shed, through ads in antiques and vending magazines, and through his own catalog. He will decorate machines for you with decals (expect the likeness of a panting woman) or repaint them to match any room’s decor.
In Harris’s opinion, Panisiak has amassed “the most impressive collection of material documenting condom vending that I have come across.” Besides, Harris says, “Nolan’s a wonderful resource because he’s so open and free. The information he gives you is so–uncut.”
Recently, he split the enterprise right down the middle with his partner. Panisiak says he lost some prime locations, such as the Hard Rock Cafe and She-nannigans in Chicago, but he isn’t complaining. “Mine is the most satisfying job you could ever have,” he says. “Most guys get into a strip joint once a year. I’m in those places all the time. What could there be better than that?”
