It’s not a job and there’s no future in it, but it is some of the easiest money the average person can make. The more average the person, the better. If you’re thinking, “Easy money? I’m as average as the next guy–how do I get in on this bonanza of dollars?” you may be able to turn even your bad habits into bucks. First: Get on a list of people who are available for market research surveys. Second: Get a phone. Third: Answer some questions. Then: Go to an office, drink a soda, eat some Cheetos, answer some more questions, and pick up your pay at the desk. Cash. In a plain white envelope. All you have to do to qualify is fit into a focus group.
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Finding individuals to fit certain focus groups isn’t always easy. I was called for a survey recently that they were having a hard time filling. They needed smokers. More particularly, they needed smokers who smoke Winstons, sometimes. There were several openings at $40 for an hour and a half. I had a spare hour and a half, so I took my butts on down. Forty bucks buys about 15 packs nowadays.
After two or three, I was about five minutes late for the survey, but I didn’t think it mattered much. The elevator opened directly into the reception area, and I stood facing the receptionist. I could tell by looking at her that she’d had a bad day. Too many focus groups, too little time. She had bug eyes, sunken cheeks, puffy lips, she was as thin as a stick figure. She seemed to be on the verge of hysteria.
“What!” he shrieked. “You mean I drove all the way down here, paid for parking, paid for gas, and I get nothing?”
“Yes sir, I’ll do that. The elevator is right behind you. Good-bye.”
“I was just being honest,” he said. “Isn’t it better that I’m honest?”
Beaten and still perplexed, he called for the elevator. As soon as the door shut behind him, the receptionist jumped out of her seat, shouting to the person hidden in the back, “I’m locking the elevator!” She called me over and jammed an envelope in my hand. Strangely, I thought of my grandmother. “Take this and go.”
