He’d be eaten alive. If the Maytag repairman finally got some business–actually went out on house calls, say, in Chicago–he’d be eaten alive.
“And she’s like, ‘Oh, come in. Oh, the dog likes you! You can have him.’
“‘Uh, I’m here to fix your dryer?’
“‘OK, that’ll be $42,’ I say.
“And she’s talking to me. ‘You’re very nice, you’re very patient. Thank you. Thank you for coming.’ She finishes writing out the check, and she’s like, ‘Is this OK? OK. OK! Thank you! I’m Joanne. My name is Joanne.’” (Which, of course, it isn’t–I’ve changed it here.) ‘I’m glad to meet you, Tim.’ I’m like, ‘It’s nice to meet you too, Joanne. I’ve gotta get goin’ now, OK?’ She says, ‘OK, you have a nice day. Thank you for coming.’ I flew outta there.
“You should be very professional,” he counseled. “You’re from the corporation, and this is your annual inspection. You’re just observing me, so you shouldn’t be interacting with the customers.”
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He pulled out a pocket-size street guide and studied it as he drove. “You know, the other day we had an audition,” said Tim. “I did one of my monologues from my last play, and I also did this piece that I said was from a play called ‘Servicing,’ and I just told them the story of one of my experiences and they were blown away by it. So that’s kind of cool. I’d like to sit down in my time off and actually write a play about my experiences.”
