Dear InAction Line: My HMO provides a $75 benefit for eyeglasses or contact lenses, but only if you buy them at [a giant optical chain with stores all over Chicago and the suburbs]. I went to the one nearest me with my prescription, and the doctor there wanted to charge me $225 for contact lenses–when I know my regular contact-lens provider (not covered by the HMO) charges $150. So I told the doctor I would use my $75 benefit toward new eyeglasses instead. This time he added $68 to the price of the lenses compared to the same lenses purchased at a noncovered optician. On top of everything, I had to wait an hour to see the doctor (I had an appointment) and the rest of the staff was unable to answer my questions about their products. What’s the big idea of sending all this HMO business to a greedy franchise when the mom-and-pop places are struggling to make it in the 90s? –Blind but not dumb in Wrigleyville
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Dear Blind: After remaining on hold for 12 hours and 42 minutes, InAction Line finally got through to your HMO. Marketing people there agreed that the doctor you saw did not sound very nice, but noted that the chain had always been good to them. InAction Line reporters were unable to find out the details of the contract your HMO has with the chain (whose name we have deleted according to our standard procedure) or why it was chosen over countless other opticians for said contract. Our reporters used to be more persistent, but we found this approach alienated too many advertisers. InAction Line is sending you a magnifying glass left over from last November’s election. Until you get your new eyeglasses, this should help you read the fine print when conducting future transactions.
Dear Homeless: Don’t you think it’s time to accept responsibility for your life? If you truly are homeless (and not just another one of those sophomoric pranksters), it’s certainly not because of the streamlining of corporate America. We suggest you (1) get yourself and your shopping cart the hell out of O’Hare so Chicago can look like the world-class city it is and (2) go get a job like the rest of us so you can pay for your share of the S&L bailout and help keep this great democracy of ours solvent.
Habla espanol? InAction Line is also available in Spanish for the benefit of readers who refuse to become fluent in English. To receive a free translation send $5 in cash and a self-addressed, stamped envelope to InAction Line, c/o this newspaper. (Note: Translations are free; the $5 charge helps defray expenses.)
