LOOKINGGLASS LAB
Such is the Columbus of Lawrence W. DiStasi’s book Columbus Upsidedown: a self-important mystic riddled by bouts of insomnia lasting a month or longer and haunted by the sort of demons that would someday cause another Spaniard, Francisco de Goya, to declare that “the sleep of reason breeds monsters.” In The Third Voyage, an adaptation by Lawrence E. DiStasi, the author’s son, we meet our protagonist on his third Atlantic trip. With his ship marooned in the doldrums, the drinking water running low, and his crew near despair, Columbus remains in his cabin, hanging by his heels from a witches’ cradle (now known as gravity boots) in an attempt to drive away the disturbing whispers of an evil golden specter. When land is finally sighted, Columbus presents himself to the inhabitants as a deity. The natives welcome the strangers, and the crew plead with their captain to stay in this idyllic place, but Columbus’s vision compels him to continue his quest for a route around the “bottom of the world.” As the monarchy bleeds the new land of its wealth and its people, Columbus remains stubbornly oblivious to anything but his faith in the queen’s patronage and in the essential goodness of his mission.
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This would be fine in itself, but Kersnar clutters his narrative with several other elements: recollections of other family members; wholly unnecessary surrealistic touches (as when he removes his fake bald head to reveal a genuine bald head but overloads the gag by announcing “I don’t really have a bald head”); musical numbers so generic (is “Hello in There” the only John Prine song anyone ever covers?) that we wonder if this might be a parody (Kersnar also needs to practice a bit longer before attempting to accompany himself on the guitar); and entirely too many “hi mom, hi dad”-type asides to friends in the audience. The result is a curtain raiser that stretches to a staggering 75 minutes, in which the serious and touching moments are utterly lost in the jumble of persiflage. Kersnar is a poised and engaging performer and his family charming, but a shorter introduction would not render them any less so.
