Planet Threatened by Grumpy Lawyers!
Compare covers. The Planet’s most recent page one labors too mightily, hawking “The Redneck Murder Exemption Plan,” “POLKA WARS,” “JFK SHOT HIMSELF,” ” The Attack of the Christo Umbrellas,” “New City Crushed . . . ” (heralding some dubious whimsy inside about a made-up softball game; the Planet doesn’t have a team), “Bob Greene and Oprah Winfrey Exposed,” and “Michael Jackson’s Nose Vanishes!”
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Love is, according to Llewellyn, “Befriending other genitalia-lacking drawings like yourself.” It’s “A teenage suicide pact.” It’s “Understanding your partner’s needs,” the need here shown to be an electric vibrator.
Not that Llewellyn had actually copyrighted anything. But in the words of her admiring publisher Jim Cicenia, her brazen pretense threw “this great little curve” at love is . . .’s powers that be. Charles T. Price, executive vice president of the Sun-Times Company, fired off a letter noting Llewellyn’s copyright claim and continuing fiercely:
“I understand the Sun-Times has already contacted you objecting to these so-called parodies. We want you to know that we are also very committed to protecting copyrights for our features and do not hesitate to take any steps necessary to protect those copyrights. Additional concerns are raised when material such as that cited above damages the image and integrity of a feature . . . ”
“They have every right to sue,” Llewellyn acknowledged. “I don’t want to make them do that. We’d be under in a day. We don’t exactly have a big pool of money set aside for law fees. I suppose the laws are made that way, but it’s a petty little thing. If I’d said ‘love isn’t . . . ‘ I probably could have gotten away with it. Doesn’t Mad do that kind of thing all the time?”
We have no quarrel with Hanson for nodding wryly at one of the million tiny details that make the gaps between generations unbridgeable. At any rate, “Tonight We Love” was adapted by Freddy Martin for his orchestra and vocalist Clyde Rogers in 1941, and if you’re under 50 chances are you’ve never heard it in your life.
