Tonight the UIC Pavilion is a temple for meditation, introspection. Sri Chinmoy, the spiritual guru, is performing his “Oneness-Happiness Song,” a concert to promote inner peace. His posters have been plastered all over town for weeks. I suppose I’m as much in search of inner peace as the next guy, but I mostly want to see the person who could afford to rent out the Pavilion and put up big video screens and give away all the tickets for free.
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Inside the entrance there’s a picture of the grimacing sri lifting a barbell with one arm; the caption says it weighed 7,063 pounds. That’s right–7,063 pounds. With one arm. The sri has lifted elephants and airplanes with one arm too. A man with a beer belly looks at the picture and says, “So how come this guy isn’t in the Guinness book of records?”
Onstage is a big white chair, a piano, a cello, and a great big gong. Next to the throne is a white table with various instruments on it. The sri can spin it like a lazy Susan whenever he wants to choose a new ax.
The sri picks up a flute. Four young people are standing near the exit door, holding hands and praying. One of them is a woman with a bumper sticker slapped on the back of her jean jacket. It says “No Jesus no peace. Know Jesus know peace.” Her passionate prayer has her in tears. “Jesus, I pray for every single person in this room for whom you shed your blood. Change his heart! Do it now before more people are lost!”
“How do you know they’re demons?”
Maybe it’s working. People are leaving in droves. But maybe it’s just the sri’s music. Someone needs to teach him how to swing.
