New frontiers in international trade, as reported in the Greater North-Pulaski Business Times (February/ March 1989): “Royal Crest Designs, Inc., at 3123 N. Pulaski, makers of ‘Sittin’ Soft’ cushioned toilet seats, found a market in England for ‘soft seats’ that play ‘Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here’ when the lid is up.”

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Huh? What’s that? Sorry, I can’t concentrate without the air-conditioning on. “We Americans are energy addicts,” writes David Kraft of the Evanston-based Nuclear Energy Information Service. “We consume–and waste–far more energy than any other people on Earth. And, like good pushers do, the utilities…remain ever-ready to give us our next energy fix, at a great profit for them and their investors, and with great damage to the environment in our behalf.”

Give me a megaburger and fries to go. “Next time you go to a salad bar and you’re loading up on lettuce,” advises state representative Jesse White, “think for a moment about how long that lettuce has been sitting there. The lettuce may look great since it’s so green but that could be because the food has been sprayed…”

The last word on suburbanites, from interior designer Jill Popenhagen, quoted in Chicago Times (May/June 1989): “They all want to be the same person. I don’t know who that person is, but they all want to be that person.”