That’s why you’re embarrassed to buy a lottery ticket. Zephyr, published in downstate Galesburg, reminds us (August 10) that we have one chance in 607,000 of being killed by lightning; one in 1,300,000 of being injured while taking a bubble bath; and one in 26 million of winning the Illinois Lotto grand prize.
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Honk if you like to kill birds: On September 23 Springfield will host the “Winchester Masters North American Goose Calling Championship.”
The problem with public schools in a nutshell, according to Herbert Walberg and Joseph Bast in a Heartland Institute opinion column: “Imagine a law requiring that we pay a public cafeteria for all our meals even if we choose to eat at a superior private restaurant. Would we quietly acquiesce to such a law?”
“An unusual fermented drink is being made in the Cook County Jail,” according to Leahy’s Corner (July 1989): “‘Take three plastic bags and put them inside one another. Add the crushed pulp of oranges, honey, sugar, and bread. Knead the contents vigorously. Seal the triple bag. Place it under a prisoner’s mattress. Sleep on it for several days. Drink the results.’ The effect is said to be intoxicating. The prisoners joke that after the unemptied bags are confiscated the guards look particularly mellow.”
