Watching from behind bushes and trees and logs, the animals saw not seven little children coming out of the forest but . . . SEVEN LITTLE MEN! Each one carried a pick over his shoulder and each one could have walked under your dining-room table without upsetting his cap.
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The angriest member of the group was Edward “Grumpy” Burke (who had never got along with the deceased king of the realm). He was always folding his arms defiantly, ordering people around, and predicting doom unless he got his way. “I’ve been telling you for nigh 200 years that something awful was about to happen,” he warned the others.
Lawrence “Happy” Bloom had no known enemies and even fewer committed supporters. He was incurably upbeat and enthusiastic, always trying to build bridges and keep everyone in a good mood. “Let’s all make a bed for Snow White,” he gushed on one occasion. And they did.
The story is still unfolding; rumors circulate throughout the realm that other small creatures may emerge from behind trees and under rocks to join in the contest for the sheer fun of it. More than a few of the land’s inhabitants still harbor hopes that Prince Jesse, wounded after a long national battle but still resolute, will return at the last moment, kiss Snow White on the lips, and send the whole scraggly pack of dwarfs scurrying for cover.