Last night I inserted a new blade cartridge in my modern safety razor. This AM my true love used said instrument (unbeknownst to me) to remove unwanted hair from her lower extremities. Now, a half hour later, I am trying to figure out how to apply a tourniquet to my upper lip after using the same blade for my morning ablutions. My question is, how can delicate female down so completely ravage a blade that regularly stands up to my hard-bitten stubble? –Bill Schlansker, San Antonio
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It’s simple, compadre. While the little lady’s leg hair tends to be finer than your face hair, she’s got a whole lot more shaving acreage than you do, particularly if she decides to shave her underarms too. So she wears the blade out a lot faster. (Remember, it’s not just hair that clogs up a razor but dead skin cells as well.) If she’s not wetting her legs sufficiently it’ll make things even worse.
While reading an article recently on the coming ice age, I thought of a related apocalyptic myth that happens to be a favorite of mine, namely that the earth is way overdue for its periodic rotation of the poles. This will result in the complete destruction of civilization and probably means we won’t get to watch Wheel of Fortune anymore either. What’s the story–is it true? Has it started? –David Koenigsberg, Hollywood, California
Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Slug Signorino.
